I hated college. And I know hates a strong word, but I can’t think of any other way to describe it. The funny part about me hating college is that if you ask people who knew or hung out with me during those years, they’d probably tell you how much fun I was always having.
The truth is, I went home most nights in so much pain. It didn’t matter if I had a boyfriend or really amazing friends because I did, I had both of those, but there was always this emptiness in my life and for so long, it took over my every thought.
I felt so horrible in my own skin and remember so vidily looking into the mirror countless times, begging the person staring back at me to feel comfortable and happy with herself. My weight went up and down between 5-8 pounds every year. It was a constant internal and physical struggle, to say the least.
My body image was so distorted and there was much pressure to party, enagage and be wild that it was almost impossible to escape my own mind. Every other thought was “Shit, we’re drinking three days in a row? Okay, so I’ll workout…” or “Why are people pressuring me to eat pizza at 3 am?”
I know it’s only college, and getting drunk and eating late night may not seem like life’s biggest tragedy, but the truth is, it’s not just about that. It’s about what it’s like to feel pressure all the time. Pressure to eat, party, smoke, and be a certain way just for the sake of not feeling left out.
I couldn’t figure out how to do this. I was in so much pain. Even as I write this, I can still envision this girl sitting on her bed with such saddness in her heart, and I can’t help but think there must be so many others who feel this way. All the time.
So many others that have lost someone close to them, or struggle daily with body image issues or can’t figure out how to say no to all the stupid social pressure that comes along with just life in general.
When I launched the break the weight program, I made sure that anyone could use this system. I see now how beneficial this type of program could be for college girls who suffer the way I used to suffer.
It’s not easy taking care of yourself when there is so much happening around you. It’s not easy feeling good about yourself when you skip yoga to party, and it’s definitely not easy being comfortable in your own skin when every girl next to you is a size 0.
I’m not saying that you shouldn’t live your life and have fun. Trust me, I’m all about fun. But when does it stop being fun and start being painful?
I hope my program can help girls in college learn how to live healthy and happy lives while still going out and enjoying themselves. We go through a lot during those years and sometimes it’s hard to do all on our own, so why not build a system that helps guide you through?
And yes, it’s really okay if people don’t agree with your “healthy choices” or ask questions like “Oh my god, why aren’t you eating at 4 am with us?”
Just smile and say “I’m not hungry.”
Besides, we both know she’s not really hungry either.
Break the weight,