Mindful. Sometimes.

There’s something scary about learning how to stop eating before you’re completely full.

It’s one of those things that takes year and years of practice and yet, even when you have it down, you still somehow have to remind yourself to slow down and stay mindful of what you’re putting into your body. 
It’s not as simple as just putting down your fork and feeling “done.”  

No.  It’s scary, uncomfortable, and requires complete honesty with yourself , and let’s be serious here,  who the hell wants to do that? 

See, the reason we don’t put down our fork or stop eating before we feel sick is because all anyone ever wants in life is to feel full.  Full of hope.  Full of love.  Full of laughter.  Full of anything that makes us feel alive and if we’re not getting it from ourselves, then I guess the very next best thing is to just fill ourselves full with food. 

But what would happen if you slowed down?  How uncomfortable would it make you feel to not finish your meal? What if you truly listened to your body?

It took me a very long time to understand my body and feel completely okay with putting my fork down even if it meant that some people would stare at me weirdly.

I kept trying to please others and  fill a void of mine by finishing everything on my plate just to feel bloated and sick after.  I didn’t want to be the only person eating less.  I didn’t want to feel bored.  I didn’t want to my friends and family to look at me weird.  And I definitely didn’t want to sit with my thoughts without a cookie in hand.

I don’t know when it exactly changed for me, but over the last two years or so, I’ve come to the conclusion that every single person works differently.  If my body doesn’t agree with me about eating late dinners or completely clearing my plate of food than why would I do that?

Besides, I’m a pain in the ass when I have a stomach ache and I never feel good about myself when I’m too full or eat dinner too late.  

And yeah, maybe some people have an issue with it and think my habits are somewhat a little too structured, but you know what? I’m the one that goes home with me at the end of every single day.  

It’s my stomach ache and my body, so unless or until we share one, I’m going to do whatever makes me feel the healthiest and the best.

So practice putting your fork down and try really hard not to just eat a late dinner because you think your friends will judge you if you don’t eat at 9pm with them.

Be mindful. Be patient.  But but most of all, be kind.  And not just to others, but to yourself.

That’s where it all begins.

Break the weight,

Ricki

Sweet on the inside

In case you haven’t heard (because we all know I let mostly everyone know what I’m up to) but JUST in case you missed it, I’ve decided to quit sugar for the next 30 days.

I KNOW, RIGHT? I feel the same.

Let’s back up here for a second because really, it’s not as wild as it seems. In-fact, I’m taking this experiment week by week and by no means have I been perfect.  But I’m VERY proud to report that I haven’t had anything sweet (cake, cookies, fruit, ice cream, or candy) for 9 days now! That’s a HUGE deal in my book. 

I’ve always been a big fan of sweets and also a firm believer in eating the foods you love and not depriving yourself, but this sugar challenge for me doesn’t represent deprivation. I’m doing this to understand the connection between my body, mind and the foods I consume. I’m doing this to become better. Healthier. Wiser and, well.. sweeter without all the sweets. 

I was in my kitchen last night around 8 pm (Side note: Never be in your kitchen at 8 pm) and I wasn’t really hungry, but I was having BIG time cravings.  I tried to go on a walk, snuggle with Logan and pretty much do anything to avoid stuffing my face with pretzels. 

But I caved and just couldn’t help myself and started eating ALL the pretzels.  I was about to put the last one into my mouth, when it finally hit me: These cravings aren’t physical right now, they’re emotional. 

I had no sugar around me and knew I wasn’t hungry, but I had the pretzels anyways. It made me realize that giving up sugar is opening my eyes to all the other areas in my life that it used to fill. Not having that to fall back on is forcing me to change old habits and take a deeper look into why I eat.

This experiment has taken on a whole new meaning to me now because it’s showing me all the sweetness that I’m really looking for on the inside.  Sometimes when we remove our crutch, we give ourselves the chance to rediscover who we are and what we want. 

Those stupid (but yummy) pretzels were never going to fill me up,  no matter how many I ate and the sugar never leaves me feeling sweeter. 

Because the reality is that I’m worth more than some stupid Walgreens pretzels. 

And so are you.

Break the weight, 

Ricki

Worthy

I used to dream that one day I would live in Colorado.  I’d close my eyes and picture myself surrounded by all those beautiful mountains and imagine how happy I’d be venturing through all the beauty.  

For the last three years, I went back and forth picturing my life there and living my life in Michigan.  It wasn’t so much about “Michigan” because I have a lot of love for my hometown, but I knew something was missing.

Maybe it was the lack of adventure in my life or that feeling you get when you know you’re supposed to be and do more but can’t figure out exactly how to do it.  People ask me all the time “What made you decide to randomly move?” and the quick answer is always “Have you ever been to Colorado” but the long answer always starts with “It took me three years to finally do this”.

Moving to Colorado was just another step forward in my personal journey of growth, but by no means did I just wake up one day and decide to pack up my car and move. I believe fully that everything I had been working on was getting me ready to finally live my dream instead of dream my dream.

Changing your life is not easy and you definitely can’t change everything at once.  So before I was ready to go, I needed to make sure that I had a good hold on some not so good habits of mine.  I had to break what weighed me down before moving onto this next phase of my life.

Moving away felt like I was finally giving myself permission to become the person I’ve always wanted to be and even now, 6 months later, I still have to remind myself that I live here because I’m not sure I ever really believed I could do it.

There are so many dreams, goals and things we all want for ourselves, but most of the time we just don’t feel worthy enough to chase after it and that’s really what it comes down to. 

I knew in my heart that if I didn’t believe in me, I would never be able  to get what I wanted, so I made a choice. I finally decided that I could become whoever I wanted and that I was worthy of creating this new life for myself.

Once I decided that, there was no turning back. I’ve played this game before and  knew if I turned around even just for a second, I may not allow myself to do this. 

So if you’re trying to decide whether or not you can do it, remember that not only can you do it,  but the world needs you to chase after your goals so you can make this world a better place. 

Take the jump. Book the ticket. Stay fearless. 

Because yes, you’re totally worth it. 

Break the weight, 

Ricki